The other day while having lunch with a friend in the restaurant, we noticed a table to my right was made up of four large and, if I may be permitted to say, unkempt women with short hair. We safely presumed they were lesbian.

In front of us was a table of sharply dressed men with well toned bodies and immaculate hair. We safely presumed they were gay.

Any half-sensible retailer actively pursues the pink pound. But from this highly rigorous and not at all ill-thought out discovery, we clearly need to undertake further of what boffins call market segmentation. Being largely free of the obligation of children, the theory goes, frees up the gay purse or wallet to spend on nicer things than nappies or school uniforms.

From an aesthetic perspective, the sharp-dressed men fit better into a smart restaurant. But the problem is that they’ve spent all their money on grooming, gym memberships and nice shoes, leaving them poking about with salads when they come to dine. The ladies, on the other hand, got stuck into three courses and expensive wines.

So perhaps we shouldn’t judge a book by its cover but more by the nature of its lover.